I was scrolling down the Facebook page and noticed a post, “Every cool girl is a half boy”. I agreed with the line. Hence I clicked on the ‘like’ option. Some of my friends also liked the post. Even sometimes we claim to be a ‘half-boy’. Suddenly the guy, who used to wear a pink shirt in college, came to my mind. People use to bully him because they claimed ‘pink’ is a girly colour. Hence the guy is girly. Everyone raised their eyebrows and gave a weird look to the guy who asked for a ticket to the bus conductor in a different way. The couple next to me started whispering among themselves about the sexuality of that guy, “this jerk talks like a gay.”
The question which came to my mind was “who are we insulting? The guy or the femininity, the guy acquires somehow?”
We say that we believe in equality. Does the equality lie on the border between being macho and being feminine? A girl who is independent from each and every side is often compared to a man. “Her parents should be happy. Their daughter is just equal to their son.” I appreciate their appreciation. But is the comparison required to depict the strength of the girl?
On the other hand if a guy is cranky and bitches about others, he is labeled as ‘girly type’. Then why do we shout for equality? Equality should take birth in our mind first.
I really appreciate the girl who is capable enough to raise her voice, is very good at driving. But I would never compare her ability to a man. Because ‘men only do these’ is a notion created by the society. I appreciate those men also, who are not ashamed of wearing cosmetics or not capable to ride a bullet. I appreciate the men who don’t think twice to wear a pink shirt, tagging pink as a ‘girly’ colour.
Who sets the definition of manliness and femininity? The answer is obviously ‘Society’. These days I notice some people who are really rugged against society. But the aim behind this ruggedness is not clear to me. Some people just do it for the sake of being unique. Some people do it because their surroundings are raising voice against the society.
According to me it is not necessary to be against the society or to stay away from the society. Instead if you notice any flaw, you should get more societal to rectify the flaw. Otherwise the flaws remain same and unchanged. Hence it becomes meaningless to keep yourself away from the social norms. I think this should start from changing your own flaws.
Pink and purple for her and blue and black for him- very often we see fashion stories. The problem lies there. Barbie is for baby girls and Spiderman is for baby boys. The classification starts there. When we see a girl wearing a Pujabi Kurta and jeans, we compliment her. Imagine a man wearing a Saree!
If we really want to change such belief, we should stop comparing an independent woman with a man. Secondly, what is independence? Is it living a reckless life? According to me independence is responsibility. You are an independent person when you utilize your independence with responsibility, when others trust you and depend on you.
Nowadays, bollywood portrays an independent woman as very reckless individual, who does not need any shoulder where she can wipe her tears. But is it true? At the end do not we expect a warm hug from our parents or our loved ones? ‘Piku’ is a movie which is different from this section. It shows a woman who is a responsible daughter. She is independent and ambitious. On the other hand she can compromise her own wishes to look after her Dad. But the dad is also very encouraging and does not stop her daughter to do anything. But being a daughter she does not misinterpret her independence.
So my opinion is that we should understand the meaning of equality, individuality, society and independence to attain a better environment. I don’t want to see a post “A cool boy is always a half girl”. Rather I would like to see a post ‘A cool individual is responsible enough to look after his/her independence and have a clear notion on equality and society’.